The Killing Field – the Preface

Biblical Relationship Series- Adoptive Families Part 2

The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). John 10:10

An orphanage is no place for a child to grow up- even a great orphanage cannot replace a family.

“Protecting ourselves by denying the true issues that the child faces keeps the issues alive and prevents healing. By mere definition of neglect, it is undeniable that children placed in orphanages at birth or at a young age are, in fact victims of neglect. This is not because the orphanage staff doesn’t care for and love the children. Instead, it’s because a child’s individual needs cannot be met in a group situation.” –Parenting the Hurt Child

Children raised in an orphanage develop survival skills. They do not have the freedom to respond to physical and emotional cues. Hunger and thirst are met on a schedule. The need for attachment is replaced with self-care. A child develops his own presuppositions by which he lives.

Some common beliefs are:
1. No one will take care of me but ME.
2. Stealing to survive is okay
3. Communism- nothing belongs to anyone

These are just a few. Children adopted from orphanages come with a core set of beliefs that clash with most families’ core beliefs. How does this translate into family life on a daily basis?

“Traumatized children are afraid to be cooperative, compliant and receptive. To them such behavior represents giving in which translates to losing. They have learned to oppose anything suggested by others….they are experts at counteracting anything directed by others….they refuse to respond to anything someone else wants. Consequently, they choreograph battles over the most insignificant issues.” –Parenting the Hurt Child

The child is in a struggle to survive but this type of survival behavior is counter-active in a home. He must abandon his control issues in order to survive and heal in a family setting.

Thus the great civil war begins! More tomorrow – The Killing Fields continues.

Follow my blog buddies in their two week trek into Biblical Relationships!

Tracey, Audrey, Charli

And joining us- Amerey

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