A veteran returning from a war torn country often suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and receives treatment to help him cope with the horrific symptoms.
A child orphaned experiences many or all of the symptoms of PTSD but has had no haven to escape the circumstances of lack, abuse, neglect, survival until he has a HOME. A child rescued in body is not necessarily rescued in mind and spirit. Just as a veteran comes home with tangible memories that keep him from reattaching to a ‘normal’ life, some adopted children have not attached to begin with.
Adopted kids who spend formative months or years in an impoverished setting can have difficulty attaching in a home environment.- The Connected Child
One Friday afternoon friends and family gathered to eat lunch at a local restaurant. A well meaning friend shared anit-bacterial hand sanitizer with kids, quickly dropping a blob on each little hand down the row. She dropped a bit on Rafal’s outstretched toddler hand. I watched in descend in slow motion, my mouth opened and no sound came out. His mouth opened in a guttural wail which played until his breath released and lips blue, his head sagged forward.
“I”m so sorry!” she said over and over.
“I was trying to tell you. He can’t handle that smell.” The harsh antiseptic smell must have reminded him of a hospital where he spent his first four months of life, motherless and alone.
Several of my children continued to experience night terrors for months after the adoption and have had dramatic reactions to various stimuli. Sights, sounds and smells from wafting up from their old life hit the panic button.
Hurt children need time to heal and attach to their new forever families. Sending these wounded children off to school or daycare for the better part of the day can cause the children to stay unattached and stuck emotionally. They lack the skills to deal with the stimuli presented in a public school.
More next time on why to homeschool the hurt child!
Note* I understand there is sometimes a policy that foster families are not permitted to homeschool because the child is not a permanent part of the family. I do not agree with the statement made by the social worker.