“I’m not going to do this!” or “I just don’t get it!” or “This is stupid!”
The frustration cycle goes like this:
Child balks or becomes frustrated at task presented.
He refuses to cooperate.
Mom becomes frustrated.
Mom is at an impasse.
What does she do? Yell?
It’s easy to take offense and stay in the frustration circle for an hour, a day, a month, a year, always being at odds with a child because he doesn’t cooperate.
I’m going to approach this from the side of a parent first and the child’s in a later post. It’s difficult not to take offense when a child repeatedly balks or talks back to Mom. But, an offended Mom produces the following fruit: hurt, anger, outrages, jealousy, resentment, strife, bitterness, hatred and envy (The Bait of Satan).
When Mom responds in the fruit of offense, she enters the frustration circle. This makes the days hellish for the whole family. I am not saying Mom should let offenses slide, give a logical consequence and forgive in order to produce the right environment for the rest of the family.
If you are reading this and you have never experienced any frustration in the arena of homeschooling, then you are blessed beyond measure. If you, on the other hand, have experienced the frustration circle, feeling as if the child is in control and you are out of control, keep reading, you are not alone. I am right there with you, sister. This is not just a bunch of words on a blog, this is REAL. Some parts of my life can get pretty stinky. This is not pie in the sky advice because I am holier than thou and my homeschooling is perfect. This is warfare. Forgiveness on a daily basis with a difficult child makes me feel like upchucking sometimes, but when I do it, I feel better. The poison leaves through my pores like a vapor of steam. Peace like a river washes my soul.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]” I Corinthians 13:7
Part III coming up soon! Why it is difficult to forgive again and again.
3 thoughts on “The Frustration Circle Part II”
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I have felt so much like giving up lately. I miss talking to you on a regular basis. You are so good at putting things on perspective.
I've been struggling with this so much this year. Can't wait for part 2!
I miss you too, Erica! I'm typing up the rest of this series today and posting it in small increments next week (something I learned from you, Charli). Hope it helps!