Thankfulness in the Adoption Journey Part II
Have you ever struggled with a child? Have you ever tromped around the same mountain- around and around and wondered- is this child ever going to change? Will he ever recover from the wounds he suffered in his life before I was his home? I’ve been there. I have circled until there is a trench up-to-my-shoulder-deep and I could barely see the light.
Then I look up. The light. The Son. I pray. Here are some words I jotted in my journal after a painful trying-to-save-the child-week.
“Whenever you are struggling with _____, thank Me for him.
….Don’t give up. Don’t give in……
Picture him as the infant (at seventeen months) you adopted all those years ago. He didn’t know anything about hot stoves, electrical outlets, toys, older siblings- it was all new territory- so is this being responsible for his own actions- he may get burned, trip, get mad, slam doors… but in the end, he will learn where the boundaries are. He will learn to fight for something he wants- to apply his own blood, sweat and tears instead of riding on the backs of others, emotionally manipulating them and never feeling satisfied.
My Word will work. Keep reading it. You cannot change him. Give him consequences. Let me do the work.
I did not rescue these little ones to rot in another hell. Pray the Word, not the circumstances.”
If you are raising a child from a who has suffered loss, abandonment and rejection in their early life, day to day living can be a struggle.
“To compound the situation, many children who have experienced neglect, abuse and abandonment have not yet developed an internalized set of values by which they judge themselves and others. They are not able to receive and experience empathy- nor can they develop insight -so they tend to project blame on others and onto objects. They blame their adoptive parents for causing their anger, and they blame toys for breaking. They blame things that could not possibly be responsible for anything!”- Parenting the Hurt Child
How do I practice thankfulness in midst of pain? Thank Him for the child. List the blessings.
1. Morning hugs
2. Saying sorry
3. A word in due season
4. painting- revelation
5. everybody chillin’/talkin’ in family room
6. doubled over laughing during a spelling test
7. moments of connection
9. laughter in the middle of a spelling test