The Great Anxiety
29 But when she saw him, she was greatly troubled and disturbed and confused at what he said and kept revolving in her mind what such a greeting might mean.
30 And the angel said to her, Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found grace ([y]free, spontaneous, absolute favor and loving-kindness) with God.
31 And listen! You will become pregnant and will give birth to a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus.
32 He will be great (eminent) and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give to Him the throne of His forefather David,
33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob throughout the ages; and of His reign there will be no end.(G)
34 And Mary said to the angel, How can this be, since I have no [intimacy with any man as a] husband?- Luke 1:29-34
After the announcement comes doubt, fear, anxiety. “She was greatly troubled and confused and kept revolving in her mind…”.Have you had days like this? You made the announcement.Filled out the paper work. Went to classes. Had the homestudy. Then doubt. Can I do this? Did you mean me, Lord?
Fourteen years ago when Jerry and I began the adoption process we intended to adopt one child to add to our three biological children. The developmental stage of adoption seems flat and two dimensional. There is no heartbeat monitor to listen to.There are no doctor visits measuring a growing belly. There are words on paper in ink. Fingerprints in a Pittsburgh building on a snowy slushy day. INS paperwork. These are the signs and symptoms of adoption. Classes. Notebooks filled with stories, lessons. The seeds of adoption are words.
Home studies dig into childhoods, imperfect. The nursery waits empty, not for nine months, but for years. This is the adoption road. It winds around, fears hiding behind every bend. Half-way through the paperwork, late in the night, I awoke, sweat beading on my brow. Snakes. Tiny black snakes all of the yard and I was stomping on them. They writhed under my feet, oblivious to my foot work. I, like Mary, had my foot upon the serpent.
“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and Her Offspring; He will bruise and tread your head underfoot, and you will lie in wait and bruise His heel.”- Genesis 2:15
Do not be dismayed when discouragement comes. Do not faint or grow weary in well doing. Mary, the chosen, highly favored one, was greatly troubled. How is this going to come to pass? Isn’t that always the question, God proposes He will do something, His Word will not return void and I question, how will I do this?
God will do what he set out to do, despite opposition. Nothing is impossible with God. But, make no mistake. Adoption is warfare. The saving of little ones is the foreshadowing of Him who left Godly form, the Word of God became flesh to become a helpless infant. Jesus, the Word of God, spoken by prophets. Words on a page. Words that spoke the world into existence came to earth as a babe to defeat the infant wounder, life-stealer. Children are satan’s especial prey. He waits at the base of the birth canal. He invades the womb, ripping limb from limb, chasing the spirit into eternity before the infant feels the warm arms of mother and father.
“And when the dragon saw that he was cast down to the earth, he went in pursuit of the woman who had given birth to the Male child.” -Revelation 12:13
Don’t be surprised at the fight, the doubts, the wonderings. Take your position. Stand firm. Hold your ground(Ephesians 5:14). And having done all you can do, STAND.
“You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your position, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Fear not nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.”- II Chronicles 20:17
The Lord will fight your adoption battle. He will confuse your enemies. They will be self-slaughtered. Nothing is impossible with God. Wait. Stand and see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. What He has purposed, He will bring to pass.
Fourteen years ago, Jerry and I traveled to Poland. Our original intention? Adopt a child. God’s plan? Adopt a sibling group of four. God is good. He is able to do what He purposes to do. The star-breather, light-speaker, Word incarnate. There is nothing that He plans that He cannot do. Be encouraged!