(Kathleen Guire with Susie Telesha)
Mother’s Day is such an oxymoron, a cruel kindness for mothers. It is a day that they are to be celebrated, but it has sometimes become a burden.
Anna Jarvis founded Mother’s Day to honor her beloved Mother, but spent the rest of her life fighting the holiday’s political and commercial exploitation.
Mothers everywhere are put on a pedestal this day. In church services sermons are preached about the wonders of Mothers from their strong hands to their ability to raise up a generation of Christians.
Why is Mother’s Day sometimes a burden?
Mother’s day means flowers and dinner for some, chocolate and cards for others. Family gatherings. Praise. Presents.
For others it offers deep sadness, a void- detachment. To the mother who has suffered a miscarriage or the woman who is unable to conceive- there are aching arms longing to hold her child. To a mother whose child died tragically, grief nearly sucks the life out of her, crippling her in sorrow. To some who have lost a mother, it means sweet memories. To a child adopted an older age, it can mean memories of a past with birth momma to compete with new Momma. Conflicting feelings arise.
It is sometimes difficult to be an adoptive Momma on Mother’s day. Children who are not securely attached find it difficult to shower mom with gifts or bring her breakfast in bed. It may take years of coaching for these kids to catch on to the idea of card buying or just saying the phrase, “Happy Mother’s Day!”
What do adoptive moms need to celebrate a successful mother’s day? A change in perspective. It’s not about the gifts, the flowers, the accolades, the coffee, the books or whatever your bent desires. It’s about one word.
Rejoice in the word. Remember the sweet victory you felt the first time your child said it, regardless of his age. Remember that joyous night they first slept in a bed in your home and you checked on them twenty-five times? You just couldn’t believe they were finally home.
Remember the season the nightmares wouldn’t stop and he let you comfort him.
Remember that time she asked why her birth mother didn’t keep her?
You comforted her. Held her. Told her God had formed her in her birth mother’s womb.
He has a purpose for you and He will fulfill it.
It’s not about you being perfect. It’s about you being THERE.
You are THERE.
So, when you see the other Mothers getting celebrated exponentially outwardly, remember inwardly that three letter word that you are every day.
You are home.
Happy Mother’s Day!
There is no place like home.
It is where children call me “Mamusa, Momma, Mother, Mom,” or any name that signifies the safety and security of family.
It is the Mother’s day celebration when my children call me Mom.