Five Things You Can do to Help an Adoptive/Foster Family Part III

Ever wonder what you can do to support adoption/foster care? Maybe you don’t feel as if you can take a child into your home. Maybe you already raised your children and you aren’t ready to start over. It may be that you have a heart for adoption,but it’s not time for you to walk the adoption road, a few more things may need to fall into place. The good news is, you don’t have to adopt/foster to support it. You can support those who do and it’s not terribly difficult.

 External religious worship [[b]religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.” James 1:27

*If you missed the beginning of this series, you can find it here.

3. Don’t have expectations for the new  adopted or foster children.

So many people expected my newbies to smile, to be polite, quote scripture and be soooo thankful.

Don’t.  Just don’t. 

First of all, these are just kids. They are going to act like kids. Second of all many of them have come from difficult situations.

You are big, scary and probably weird looking and smell funny to a little kid. This child may have little or no trust build for his adoptive/foster parent, why would he want to trust you? You might be a bad guy.

My newbies hid from a Polish priest when he spoke their native language-they cowered under a table and behind my legs. This was a good Polish dude, but not to them. He was a trigger, a reminder of the orphanage that they had recently escaped. Thankfully, he brushed it off and smiled and moved on without demanding they answer.


If you need to have any expectations of the new foster/adopted child your friend or neighbor has brought home, expect them to be on guard. Expect children to need to get to know you before they want to engage in conversation. Get down on their level. Say hello and don’t be put off if there is not a response. Give the child time, not require him to fulfill your imposed expectations.

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