My Best and My Worst Days – by Amerey
Last week I had a lovely friend over for some mommy chat time. We had talked before about how little sleep she was getting because her 6 month old was still waking up MULTIPULE times a night, and this lead to her feeling like she couldn’t accomplish anything around her house. I told her again and again I have been there!! My first didn’t sleep through the night until she was 18months old. I haven’t written about that before here) When my oldest was a baby I never accomplished anything around the house. She rarely ever slept which lead to crankiness in both of us. If I laid her down to play and walked away to do the dishes she would cry, so I spent all of the time she was awake playing with her, and only a small portion of the time she was asleep to take care of my home. I was exhausted. As she got older and slept a little better, I was able to accomplish more things around the house. But it was quite awhile before that happened. I remember feeling very alone in this struggle. Every other momma I talked to had a baby that slept well, played alone for a while perfectly content. They got dressed in the morning, put their makeup on, did their dishes. And I remember wondering, “Hooooooooooooow?” I always ended up telling people I was fine, when they asked how I was doing, I told them Cecilia was a happy perfect baby. I lied. I was dead tired and felt like I was failing as a mother, wife, and homemaker. Cecilia was happy, when I was holding her, or sitting right beside her. It was so hard. I felt like no other mother could relate.
Skip ahead a year and a half, and I have a toddler that sleeps through the night and takes good naps, and a four month old that almost sleeps through the night (CRAZINESS!). Wooohoooo!!!! But when my friend came over she kept commenting on how clean my house was and asking how I did it all I had to tell her the truth. I don’t. I always, and still do, look at other mothers and think, “They have it all together, and I am failing.” I would never want any mom to look at me and feel like that. I would never want to be the cause of some other mother doubting herself. On my best days, I get one or two things done in the house, my toddler only cries a few times, the baby takes a good nap, I put the laundry in the dryer, and I remember to take something out for dinner. On my worst days I make my house look messier, I cry, my toddler cries, I forget about dinner, the laundry grows, my baby only naps for 10 minute increments, and I end up falling asleep on the couch at the end of the day. I rarely every put makeup on, or do my hair, and most days I wear my pajamas all day long. Motherhood is hard. And while there are some great tips out there, and getting on a schedule can help, we all have crappy days. Toddlers are moody, laundry is never ending, and dinner is always at the end of the day when you want to be done. You should never look at another mother and think she never has a bad day. EVERYONE DOES. Please please please. Start talking to other mommies about your bad days, give them community and courage. We should never feel like we have to hold it all together in front of someone else that is going through the exact same things we are going through. And trust me, THEY ARE GOING THROUGH IT. Cry and laugh with one another. Share horror stories with one another, and then go home feel encouraged and store up more stories for the next cup of coffee. My best and my worst days are the same as yours. I would love to tell you about them sometimes.