*This post was spring boarded from a post by Jessica Bolyard. You can find it here.
My children aren’t small anymore. There was a season when I had seven children at home. It seemed as if it would last forever. There were meals to prepare. Diapers to change for years on end. The dishwasher/washer/dryer needed unloaded constantly. Kids were fighting. I couldn’t see the end in sight.
Other days, the sun shone. The children got along for a few hours or a child had a breakthrough in learning and I was there to see it. Or we made cookies and watched a movie. We stayed up late and watched the moon. I prayed those days would never end.
They did end. Kiddos grow up. Go to college. Get jobs. Get married. And we Moms enter a new season. Every season has merit. Every season has value. When Mamas enter the phase of life when the kiddos are not so little, things change. Drastically. We enter a new phase of our lives. We become the mentors. It’s biblical. I like that.
Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.-Titus 2:3-5
I shared Rachel’s post above. When our kids aren’t little anymore, what we need from you who have littles:
- Listen to the wisdom that we share that is biblical and sound whether we can use Twitter or understand Tumblr. Knowledge of social media or lack thereof is not a measure of wisdom. Some of the ladies you need to hear from don’t Facebook or tweet. You’ll have to meet them for coffee ( I do social media but prefer real time coffee). We may not be able to see the pain in a tweet or post. We grew up seeing facial expressions, not reading emojis. When we say, WHAT? We mean we don’t get it. Don’t think we don’t have the wisdom or experience to meet you where you are if we don’t know how to tweet an answer in the characters allotted.
- Don’t discount our advice because our older children have chosen alternative lifestyles or left the church. Our wisdom and experience combined may help you. These are our children’s choices. Not ours. Your children will make their own choices one day. You probably don’t like all the choices they make now, but it seems so much more controllable when kids are small. When they are grown, be prepared to find a listening ear when your kids choose things you wish they hadn’t. Get your shoes of peace on. Apply liberal amounts of grace and keep the relationship going.
- Ask us. You may be surprised by our willingness to share. Just because we look as if we have it all together (myself excluded) doesn’t mean we haven’t had hardships along the way. We each have a story. When we tell them, healing springs forth for the listener and the story teller. We can’t step into your home and tell you how to run your household unless we are invited into your lives. We can’t tell you how to love your husbands unless you ask. If you’re asking the young mom at the soccer field what to do or finding your answers on social media, you may not be getting the wisdom you need. It’s not that these women don’t have some answers, they don’t have years of experience to draw from.
Younger moms, we are here for you. You aren’t alone. No, your season won’t last forever, but that doesn’t make some days feel like forever. I get it. Some nights seemed as if they lasted an eternity when babies were sick and couldn’t sleep. Those moments when everyone got a long for a few hours were glorious. I didn’t think the season of raising children would ever end. Now, I’m in a new season, trying to find my way around. I haven’t forgotten you, young Moms. I’m just a text or phone call away. Don’t expect me to have all the answers. I don’t. What I do have is a listening ear, experience and a prayer.