“Soul shaping is hard work. Often planting these seeds pushes against your own selfishness. Excellence requires that you cultivate and uphold your own inner standards in a world that makes concessions.”

I used to think that there were major sins and minor sins. Sins that were outwardly visible or labeled ‘bad’ were the ones to stay away from. Sins like MURDER. Or DRUNKENess. Those were the sorts of sins a good girl stayed away from.

I was a good girl. All my life. I didn’t commit any of the offenses I hi -lighted in my Bible. AT least on the outside. Then I had kids. If you want to mature, spiritually or otherwise, just have a few kids or adopt some.

Kids push your buttons. They stir up the inner sins, the darkness lurking in the depths of your evil lair, or just your mind. Children can turn super heroes into villains overnight. Actually, they don’t do it. We do it to ourselves. All that junk we keep hidden in the closet of our mind, the door that we slam shut with little sins like selfishness sticking out like a coat hanger. We clean up the rest of our act to be the ‘good girl’ until those kids open our closets. Everything spills out that was there in the first place.

I know. I’ve been there. Every button pushed. Every nerve taxed. Exhaustion sets in and you’re just trying to be a nice Mom. A sweet Mom. And you just fail.  Me too.Yikes.

There’s all kinds of info out there on the web and in print about how to train your kids. How to take care of yourself. Some suggest Moms just get away. Some Moms go to work just so they don’t have to deal with their kids or everything their kids bring out in them. Impatience. Anger. Yelling. Hiding.

We just don’t talk about this. There’s a lot we Moms don’t talk about because we are so busy trying to be the best, to measure up. We put on our false face and keep going. Inside, we’re dying cause no one else will fess up. The lady beside you in the Target check out line certainly has it altogether. The minimalist you follow on Instagram never yells at her kids to pick up their toys, cause they don’t have any, so she is sinless, right?

 

So, on top of all of this self-loathing, we lie to ourselves. So why try? Is there an answer? Are we Moms doomed to implode or explode? Or are we believing myths? Leslie Fields, author of Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths that Trap Us in Worry and Guilt, says, “Ironically, pretending that parenting is easy diminishes the value of family”.

Friends, we are imperfect. We can start there. Also, we are not failures. We’ve just been listening to the wrong voices.

Three Myths about. parenting ( from Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths that Trap Us in Worry and Guilt).

1. Having Children Makes You Happy and Fulfilled.
2. Nurturing Your Children is Natural and Instinctive.
3. If You Find Parenting Difficult, You Must Not Be Following the Right Plan.