“Family gives you context and origin. It gives you understanding and the family tree of Christ always gives you hope.”– Ann Voskamp

The family tree of Christ notes four women who felt like outsiders, has beens or never beens. Jesus claims the wounded and worn out as His own.

You and I, adoptive parents, our lineage, like Mary’s is full of God infused bloodlines of grace, of overcoming behind closed doors when children feel all of the above. He purposed the family tree on your wall with branches askew albeit to others, but not to Him.

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He knew the choice would be for life, not abortion, not death. He knew the neglect and destruction in the child’s birth home would lead him to your door and through a multiple set of court dates made him part of your forever family. He was present when the young women wrestled with the choice of abortion or adoption and He cheers for life. The Father is an adopter. The Father to the fatherless is His name.

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If you think your family has unique roots, part oak, part maple, part hickory, then look at Mary’s roots- “the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot- yes, a new branch bearing fruit from the old root.” (Isaiah 11:1)

Both the Amorites and Moabites were descendants of Lot. The Moabites descended from Moab, the son of Lot, born of an incestuous relationship with his eldest daughter (Gen. 19:37). The Ammonites were descended from Lot’s incestuous relationship with his youngest daughter, her son, Ben-ammi.  Both of these religions sacrificed infants. Tamar posed as a harlot and slept with her Father-in-law in order to conceive.

“How long will you waver and hesitate [to return], O you backsliding daughter? For the Lord has created a new thing in the land {of Israel} a female shall compass (woo, win and protect) a man.”

– Jeremiah 31:22

These women were from pagan cultures, ones that didn’t value children. They were harlots, pagans, outsiders. Children from hard places are like these women, broken, discarded, forced to bear incestuous relationships or prostitution. Our kids from these hard places feel shame beyond what some of us (not all) can comprehend. They feel worthless. But they are not worthless. They feel discarded. Rejected. Living on the outskirts of hope.

“Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son and they shall call his name Emmanuel- which translated means God with us.”

-Matthew 1:23

We adoptive parents, when entrenched in the day to day with our child’s behaviors, survival mode ruling, we may wonder if your children’s births were prophesied, if they were planned for, if all the past shame neglect and abuse can bring forth a new shoot, new life from the stump of pain and decay.

Mary, the teen mother of God with and angel’s message in her belt, moved forward into history and bore the son of God. She pondered the messages, signs and wonders in her heart.

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We adoptive parents do the same. We first ponder the message of adoption. Like Mary, we may first receive the message with fear, but then we follow with obedience.

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BRAVO, YOU! Then follows the minutes, days and years of living out the calling. It’s hard work and that’s a gross understatement. Just as Mary must have trembled, doubted and wondered how she could raise the child of the living God, the Son of God, we adoptive parents do the shame.(I’m confused here I mean the same, most of the time. Some of us feel ashamed of our reactions, our feelings towards the child. Some days we want to throw up our hands and say, “I can’t do this. Why did you pick me?”

I understand. I am right there with you, sister, brother. Some days are overwhelmingly difficult. But, know this. You are handpicked, just as chosen as Mary. You are just as called, just as loved, just as special as those women named in the genealogy of Jesus. Take a minute. Let that sink in. I know that’s a tough word to believe, we have have been taught that some are more sanctified, some more holy.

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Your job, your calling is in agreement with the design of His own will.

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“In Him, we also were made [God’s] heritage (portion) and we obtained an inheritance for we have been foreordained (chosen and appointed beforehand) in accordance with His purpose. Who works out everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His [own] will.

– Ephesians 1:11

Mary, highly favored, chosen to bear the son of God had to be obedient. None of us parents are raising Jesus, Son of God, Savior of the world, but each of our children are seeds of potential purpose.

“ But Mary was keeping within herself all these things they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them.”

-Luke 2:20

Mary watched and listened to those things being said about and to Jesus. She pondered them in her heart. We adoptive parents may have listened to a litany of things said about our children, heart wrenching stories of abuse, neglect and incest. We must ponder them in our hearts, be aware of triggers and potential meltdown situations. Remember, there can be hope and healing. Their futures are not determined by what has been done to them. Like those four names in the bloodline, the lineage of Christ, their lives can be significant despite their pasts. They are significant. Jesus said, “Suffer little children to come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes of those who are bound.” -Isaiah 61:1

We act like Jesus, we carry his anointing when we proclaim liberty to the captives, the children from hard places. We minister to the afflicted, to bind up and heal the broken hearted. We have a divine calling, a holy calling.

*From 25 Days of Thriving Through Christmas An Advent Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents