Episode 5 of The Whole House Podcast
Nurturing Your Children When it Doesn’t Come Naturally
We recorded this episode after one of our live coffee days and this was the topic!
You can find it on iTunes here.
Myth- You will always be pleasant and sweet and feel that way!
Carly- Sometimes we don’t want to take care of someone before ourselves.
We don’t realize until we have kids how selfish we are until we have kids.
Kathleen- We have an ideal of serving others as long it is the parameters we set. Example -serving a few hours out an outreach.
If you want learn how to be unselfish, have children.
Amerey-Media- Mom is dressed and ready when kids wake up. Make up one.
Three year old wakes up before everyone. It’s hard to get up and be purposeful. I want to be the selfish mom.
Carly- Hubby has fallen into the trap of turning TV on. It takes some retraining.
Kathleen-Myth- People assume that if you stay at home, your home is organized. YOu are joyful. You have makeup on.
The idea that we don’t get frustrated in our jobs is a myth.
Other women who have careers get frustrated in their jobs.
Carly- Why do we think we shouldn’t get frustrated in our jobs?
Amerey- We think we shouldn’t get frustrated in the home with our kids. Or out in public. We begin to think there is something wrong with our kids
CArly- We share the best parts of our day on social media. So, we compare our normal day with the best parts of someone else’s day.
Kathleen- Five minutes of everything going right. The kids are behaving. We have a cup of coffee and we take a photo. We post it.
Amerey- While we are posting it, the kids have a break down
Carly- Here’s the thing. I only follow people who take the good picture and post the bad picture too.
Amerey- I followed DIY people and thought I had to clean my house and have it perfect first.
Carly- How do you help yourself be the best person you can be?
I didn’t take time for myself for a year and a half. Take time for yourself.
Watercolors. Sand some wood.
Amerey- The thing to remember – this doesn’t mean time to zone. This means body and soul refreshing. Don’t just zone and forget about things.
You need to come back filling like a better person. Refresh your mind.
Read a book that speaks to you. Paint. Knit. Focus on yourself mentally.
Carly- Sometimes the best thing is to let the dishes go.
Kathleen- She is right. Refurbishing something is de-stressing for me. The Bible speaks of renewing our minds. When act like our creative self, like God designed us to be, we are renewing our minds.
The liturgy of the Ordinary
Find Christ in the ritualistic things you do every day.
A Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Intentionally look for God in folding laundry
Kathleen- God takes the mundane and turns it into something glorious
We have to be intentional. We can become lazy spiritually just as much as we do physically. We must be intentional about looking for Christ.
Amerey- Something else you can do- after you have set aside time for yourself. Set aside time to spend time with your child. We forget our child needs time with us. Sit on the floor and read every book they bring to you.
Kathleen- God usually requires us to do the opposite of what we want. After a move to a new town, I experienced circumstantial depression.
Hug each child every day. Do something fun with each child every day.
Amerey-We became close that year. Family game nights every night. If you don’t have a year like that, you need to set aside time when your focus is on your child.
Carly- Would you like to look back twenty years later and try to find good moments or would you rather count them along the way.
Kathleen- The lesson from the hard year- God is going to require you to intentionally nurture your children, even in your deepest, darkest, hour.
Carly- God calls us to holy work.
To Nurture your child you must Nurture yourself.
Set aside time to nurture your child. Intentionally.