Traditional Parenting doesn’t work with kids from hard places.
We learn in ETC Parent Training we need to empty our traditional parenting toolbox and refill it with new tools.
A REDO is one of those tools.
Every offense by a child doesn’t need a volcanic reaction.
A redo is an opportunity for a child to redo the action in the right way. This is so important because it helps rewire the brain. A parent simply and playfully (if possible) walks the child through the proper steps. I use and example of this in the video below. A great thing to remember is a redo can be quick, playful and specific. For example if you have two kiddos playing with cars and one grabs one out of the other one’s hand. Here are two scenarios:
Mom: Give that car back. You should know better. We share in this house. Blah. Blah. Blah- meaning a whole sermon on why we share.
Mom: Let’s try that again, buddy. Give the car back. (Child hands car back however reluctantly, Mom smiles). Great job, giving the car back. We don’t take.
*If the child wants the car and they are community property, then you as the parent can work out a time for each child to use the car. This is also an opportunity for the child to ‘use his words’ and ask for the car instead of grabbing it. All of these tools should be used quickly and with a pleasant tone. When we use anger to work out scenarios, our child will too!
Here’s a short video I did on the topic for The Whole House Adoption/Foster Support Group: (don’t you love my expression?)