Adopted, Chosen, and Wretched

My parents had just enrolled me in a Catholic school after the move from Colorado to WV. I had completed some of the science homework ahead of time since I didn’t enter the school at the beginning of the school year. My first day there, I was chosen to go to the blackboard. I was wretched. I felt as if my answers were wrong. I was wrong. I stuck out like a sore thumb among all these kids who had been going to the school since kindergarten. I was the smallest kid in my class and in the class a grade below mine. I wrote the answer to the question in large loopy letters on the chalkboard with fear and trembling. The teacher, Mr. Brummage, commented, “That’s exactly right, Kathleen. If this new student can get this right, you all should.” I felt a tiny bit less wretched.

There have been some social media posts going around about popular preachers saying they are “chosen” with a comparison to Paul, author of 3/4 of the New Testament saying “I am wretched.” Something about these posts didn’t sit right with me. So, I did some studying and thinking.

Here’s something to think about – can you be wretched and chosen at the same time?

Chosen

Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. – Ephesians 1: 4

We can’t take credit for being chosen. Even if we wanted to chosen like those days we waited to see if we made the team, got the part, were chosen to be adopted. It’s not something we can do in our own strength or is based on our merit or good works. Before God put the earth on its axis, he chose us. He chose you. He chose me. We are chosen. (If you want to read some more verses about “chosen,” check out the list at the bottom.)

Wretched

Wretched and miserable man that I am! Who will [rescue me and] set me free from this body of death [this corrupt, mortal existence]?

Thanks be to God [for my deliverance] through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind serve the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness, my sinful capacity—I serve] the law of sin. – Romans 7:  24, 25

While Paul describes himself as wretched because of his corrupt, moral existence. He is still chosen. That condition of his existence did not change his “chosen” status. His fight with himself is well documented in Chapter 7. It’s the same sort of fight we all have with ourselves and our desire to do right, yet we end up doing the thing we don’t want .

For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. – Romans 7: 15

That’s exactly how I feel! When I hold onto bitter feelings, watch too much tv, don’t use my time wisely, or fill in the blank. How about you? Are you bewildered by your reactions? Do you often practice what you don’t want to? Eat the donut, skip the workout, yell at your kids, come apart at the seams when you have too much to do? I’m preaching to the Guire here.

Adopted, Chosen, and Wretched.

You knew it was coming didn’t you? What about adopted/foster kids? Are they chosen? Of course. We choose to adopt and foster. Sometimes we expect the children not to be wretched. We want them to feel loved, secure, whole, and free of fear.

I remember when we were still in Poland, after a visit to some psychologists, Damian was wretched. Because of something his brother said after the evaluation, Damian thought we would change our minds about choosing him. He said to his brother, “Now you’ve ruined it. They won’t want us anymore.” Of course that wasn’t true. We did choose them from the first time we heard of them.

When our kids come “home” or are part of our family temporarily, they may begin to feel secure and then will be baffled by their own actions. So, will we. Those triggers will make some ugly feelings rear their heads. It may feel as if they don’t feel chosen. Isn’t that just human nature though? We have a place at the table of the family of God, but we tend to slip off our chair and have a fit when circumstances don’t line up with what we want or think theyshould be.

Why talk about Being “Chosen” verses “Wretched” during the holidays?

Now more than any other time during the year will we have to understand that we can feel wretched even when we are chosen. This is the time of year triggers of past memories, good or bad, are present in abundance. Same for our kiddos from hard places. When we tell our kiddos to be on their best behavior when Aunt and Uncle so and so show up and they CAN’T, these kiddos will feel wretched. It’s our job as parents to connect and correct. It’s our job to reaffirm their chosen-ness and value. It’s our job to structure the environment to make them feel safe. 

Want to hear more about this topic? Want to thrive this holiday season?

Some of us are parenting hurt children who have come from hard places and have no foundation of celebration. Holiday activities may seem strange or act as triggers for their past.
Grab a cup of coffee and join Kathleen as she shares some tips for thriving this holiday season!

Join our free e- course:

Welcome to your twenty-five day countdown and survival guide. Raising children from hard places is challenging. Surviving the holidays with a smile on your face while parenting is even more challenging, that’s whyI wrote this handy little Advent book and created this course. Don’t stress. It’s not a huge to-do, not more than a paragraph or two each day. Easy peasy and encouraging. So, take a minute each morning and read. This year, let’s not just survive the Christmas season, let’s thrive!

scriptures

Chosen: John 15:16, Romans 11: 5, Ephesians 1: 4, I Thessalonians 1: 4, I Peter 1: 2, I Peter 2: 9, Jude 1:1, Revelation 17: 4

Wretched: Romans 7: 24, Revelation 3: 17

Five Day Smoothie Challenge!

Hey Friend,

  • Thanksgiving may have been a great success and if you’re like me, you’re reliving all the fun moments in your mind. We have a fresh pocketful of memories. We may also all have some other habits too. Such as I-have-to-eat-all-the-leftovers-syndrome. I know. I feel as if not eating is wasting it. I remember what my step-father Bud used to say, “It looks better in the trash then it does on me.” He was certainly not a wasteful person, so for him to say that means a lot. The truth is, there comes a point at which we have to ask ourselves –
  • Why am I eating this?
  • Do I need it?
  • Is it helping me or hurting me? 

We don’t have to eat everything. We need to stop and ask our bodies what they need. Years ago, when I was diagnosed with Celiac disease, my gut was shredded. My muscles had wasted away and I felt more than exhausted. I felt angry that my body wouldn’t cooperate with whatever I put in my mouth. It pretty much rejected everything. I started learning more about what foods my body needed. My first step was smoothies. Not necessarily green, but packed with good foods and nutrients.

Honestly my first attempt tasted like poop. Wait. Worse. I think. I just got a bunch of kale, spinach and whatever else I could stuff in the blender and poured the result in a mason jar. My daughter, who joined me on this adventure, took a tentative sip and spit it out. I did the same.

With some more research, some more playing around, I found some smoothies that worked for me. I did some smoothie fasts (just drinking smoothies) and finally settled on replacing my morning meal with one. That’s not super hard! Are you in? One smoothie every morning for five days?  In fact I felt full and energetic and most days would realize by late afternoon that I hadn’t eaten lunch because I wasn’t hungry (that’s not the purpose, just a point).

I’m going to share five of those on our Instagram account next week – November 26th- 30th. 

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Smoothies are not a quick fix or a cure-all, but they have a host of benefits:

1) Natural Weight Loss.

2) Boost Fruit & Vegetable Intake (Particularly Greens)

3) Increased Energy.

4) Boosts Nutrition.

5) Strengthens Immune System.

6) Excellent Source Of Minerals For Healthy Bones.

7) Excellent Source of Antioxidants.

8). Supports Colon and Gut Health.

*You can find more benefits at DaveandTracy.com or research some on your own!

Are you ready to join me? Here’s a list of ingredients you’ll want to grab before Monday morning. If you can’t purchase them all, no worries. You can still do the challenge and modify a bit. I’m all about tweaking recipes.

  • Almond milk
  •  Plain Kefir or whole fat greek yogurt
  • Avocados
  • Granny smith apple
  • Protein powder
  • Spirulina
  • Cacao
  • banana
  • pumpkin
  • carrot juice
  • spinach
  • cinnaman
  • blueberries (I use frozen from the Guire Farm)
  • mint
  • Kiwi (optional)
  • coconut water

Like I said, don’t feel as if you need to buy all of these. If you just use one or two of the recipes this coming week and repeat them, that’s still a win!

On Monday, I’ll be sharing one of my favorites (I say that for all of them)- Green apple-Avocado!

Join us on Instagram for the challenge – @the_whole_house!

Need an extra boost of encouragement to keep healthy over the holidays? Hop on over to iTunes and listen to “Keeping Healthy over the Holidays.”