Working Through the Seasons of Marriage

Episode 26: Jessica and Kathleen talk about the different seasons of marriage. Consider it the prelude to our Marriage Habits Course! (Find more about this and how to sign up on our Facebook page!)

We are constantly entering new seasons in marriage – when babies are born, homeschooling, teens, and empty nests. Each time we have to make adjustments and pivot. If we don’t change to meet these new seasons, we can get stuck. We must evolve and make transitions to keep our marriages healthy. It’s important to get education, support, and encouragement from married women who have more experience and years of marriage under their belt, and Jessica and Kathleen want to offer it!

Podomatic link here.

iTunes link here.

 

Show Notes:

However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].- Ephesians 5:33

Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf (book mentioned)

“You may be wondering which came first, the chicken-feminism-or the egg- male selfishness and immaturity. I believe the answer is feminism. From the first day The Feminine Mystique hit the bookstands, feminism did not focus on equal pay for equal work, but on how marriage, husband, men in general, and children in specific were ther enemies and the oppressors of true womanhood.” -Dr. Laura Schlessinger, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage

 

An Autumn Treasure

The morning chill settles over my home and the fragrant smell of fresh coffee with a dash of pumpkin spice steams on my night stand and I am thankful. I haven’t always been a fan of autumn. I seemed to focus on the negatives or what I was leaving behind instead of the positives. Shorter days. Cold. Rain. See, depressing?

We see those posts on social media-the negators. They always seem to want a season other than the one they are currently in. That sort of thinking is a set up for disaster. I know. Been there. When it is snowing, we want ninety degree heat and sunshine. When it is ninety degrees, we want snow, a fire and a good book. This sort of discontent bleeds into other areas of our life.

If only my child could read…

If only my children were grown…

If only my children were small…

If only this adoption was final…

If only…… is a key ingredient in the recipe for discontent.

We must enjoy the season we are in now or we won’t enjoy the next season. Contentment is something we must practice. We earn and learn it. It’s not bottled and sold on Amazon. It is hard earned, but free!

11 Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. 12 I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. 13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]-Philippians 4:11-13,Amplified Bible (AMP)

Paul wrote of being content while in prison. He learned to be content regardless of his circumstances. We can practice contentment in every season, whether we have plenty or are in difficult times. We have the secret of facing life, whether we have abundance or are in need. And when we practice this contentment, we can do all that He has called us to do, because He strengthens us and empowers us. We are “ ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace”.

How do we practice this contentment?

  1. Give thanks in every season. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians 5:18) Find something to be thankful for. A sunrise. A brisk walk. A text from a friend.
  2. Find something to love about the season. When my grandmother suffered a brain tumor and my mother brought her home to nurse her, the season was difficult for all. One thing I loved about the season is the strength of our family and how they seemed to pour in and out of the house like a healing balm. Grandmother was never alone and she was showered with love.
  3. Embrace the season. I was out and about the other day and it was chilly. I should have brought a sweater, but I hadn’t. I changed my thought from I’m freezing to this is invigorating! It makes me feel alive. Maybe your season is waking parts of you that you were unaware of. Maybe through your difficulty, God is showing His glory reminding you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Or maybe you are in a season of abundance and you haven’t noticed because you are too busy to stop and notice the blessings.

I pray that you will find something in your current season that gives you peace, that you find true contentment. If your heart is broken today, I pray healing and please be kind to yourself. Some seasons are for grieving and we must be thankful for tears. Some seasons are so full of joy, we must be careful not to miss them. Wherever you find yourself, He is there.

Linking up with Kristin Hill Taylor for Three Word Wednesday! Join us!

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I want you to love your seasons

by Amerey Campbell (read more about Amerey here.)

While I was rocking my child back to sleep tonight, after she had woken herself back up, AFTER  fighting sleep for an HOUR (come on GIRL!). I thought back to a young girl sitting in a white basement college classroom quietly, dreamily,  planning her upcoming wedding while everyone else diligently took notes from the professor. That girl (me) could not get through the next couple weeks fast enough, and yet her wedding day has come and gone. WAIT (back to the mother rocking in the dark room) my wedding day has come and gone, as have three anniversaries, the birth of my first child, and my child’s first birthday!

WHERE HAS TIME GONE?!?

Sure, we all ask ourselves this question at least once a week, but for a moment, stop and really think about it.

Our lives are whizzing by faster than we EVER imagined. AND YET, we cannot wait to get through seasons of our lives. We are so so incredibly anxious for “this time” to be over.

Like me, my daughter has always been a poor sleeper, from the day that she was born, there was, and are, way to many things going on in her life for sleep to be a priority. I remember those sleepless nights oh so well (because it was YESTERDAY!) Holding my sleepless newborn, willing my eyes to stay open, telling myself, “This is just a stage, she will grow out of it soon.” And then again with my six month old, “I thought you were suppose to be sleeping a little better by now?!” Sitting around a table with a handful of other mothers telling one, “ don’t worry if your four month old isn’t sleeping for five hours yet, my one year old still wakes up 5 to 6 times a night.” And then tonight as I held my 17 month old close against my chest bouncing and humming for the second time, I thought about my wedding, her birth, her birthday, her younger sibling growing within my womb, and I wondered, why do I want this sleepless season to be over? why do I long for the day when she will no longer need my body agains hers to go to sleep? Why? Because of how little sleep I get? Who cares?! I want a million babies and they will all come with no sleep. This is a beautiful season in my daughter’s life, she is small and vulnerable, she is mine to hold and comfort, and bring rest to. Shame on me for wishing away this “mama” season in my daughters life. Shame.

We start as children, wishing to be like older brothers, friends, cousins. I wished my childhood seasons away, always wanting the next. I can see it in my daughter already, as she looks on envious of what the older kids on the playground can do. She just wants that season now, and then the next, now.

No, little girl! I want you to love your seasons! Each and every one of them. I want you to thrive in them! To rejoice and be glad in them!

O Lord please help me enjoy every one of my children’s seasons, keep me from rushing them on to the next for convenience sake. But most of all Lord help me teach my children to be thankful and love their current seasons. I never want them to feel like I’m rushing them through life, or that they have to rush through life. Help us love our seasons.

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Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.