WHOSE JOB IS IT ANYWAY?- THE MODERN WOMEN’S GUIDE TO HOUSEWIFERY Part II

Yesterday, I gave you a few questions to get the conversation about housewifery started. How did that go?

As promised, I want to delve into some scenarios today.

When a husband and wife agree that she will be the keeper of the home or the home administrator, that job needs to be clarified. A home administrator, according to Proverbs 31:

 She looks well to how things go in her household,

She is in charge of running the household. She makes the schedule for when things get finished,  unless there has been a conversation with her husband and he wants to take responsibility for something. It should be up to her to decide what should be a priority on a day to day basis.

Home Administration

Let me give you an example:

Let’s say Mom is home with the kiddos. They are having a great day playing board games and then the sun comes out. Everyone heads out to enjoy the weather. The lunch dishes are still in the sink when hubby gets home. Should he complain?

In this instance, Mom decided fresh air and some outside time was a priority. She made an executive decision. The dishes can wait. Dad can pitch in if he likes.

Here’s another scenario:

Dad comes home and the project Mom started is still on the floor in pieces. Maybe she didn’t have time to apply the last coat of wax to the desk she painted, so it is still in parts. Maybe something else was a priority that day.

Just to put this in perspective- does dad ever have a day at work when he doesn’t complete everything on his agenda? Does he ever have a bad day? Does everything always work out perfectly at work? Should it at home?

Here’s one last one that I ran into a lot. Hubby would come home and the house was a wreck-

“So, you didn’t do anything today?” he would ask.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking, we had the best day EVER. We hiked on the trail. Read a book aloud. Made cookies. You get the picture.

Another day, he would come home to a sparkling clean house and say:

“Wow, you got a lot done today!”

I would be thinking, I didn’t even crack a school book or play a game. We had a cleaning day. Everyone helped (which is great), but I looked at it a little differently.

This is why conversations about these things are so important. Women tend to be more relationship oriented and men more task oriented. I am a planner. I do love a schedule. But when it comes to being a home administrator, I look at the whole picture- now and the future. A sparking clean kitchen is not what my kids are going to remember. It may be something I teach them to do. It isn’t the first on my mission statement list.

With that said, let’s read some words of wisdom from Sally Clarkson:

  Your home is your domain-it is the part of creation that God has uniquely designed and delegated to you to subdue and rule over, especially as a homeschooling mother. However, homes of disorder get in the way of our stewarding this very important place, and creates an environment of stress and anxiety.

Home administration is a serious job. We must have a plan. We must be proactive. Kids can pitch in and help. Once we have a plan in place, it should be a guideline. If we can’t keep it perfectly, we shouldn’t throw it out. Tomorrow, I’ll get into a few more points and questions for you about being the Home Administrator. For now, if you feel as if you aren’t organized by nature, read this post- Schedules are for Unorganized People.

Whose job is it anyway?- The Modern Women’s Guide to Housewifery

The expectations of a stay at home Mom are often high. Add homeschooling to the mix and often the bar is raised instead of lowered.

  • Your schoolroom/area should be perfect
  • Your kids should be well dressed and clean all the time
  • Your home should be sparkly clean and farmhouse perfectly decorated (or whatever your style is) at all times.

Like in the fifties television shows, Dad comes home from work, sits in his easy chair and reads the newspaper. Mom, wearing her string of pearls and a dress covered by an apron finishes preparing a lovely home cooked meal.

Unfortunately, as beautiful as this picture may be, or maybe this picture makes you downright angry. It’s just not reality.

This series was sparked by some recent conversations with friend and Whole House peeps who need some help, clarity and wisdom (myself included). Some of us gals have hired outside help to clean our homes *GASP*. Yep. Me. I did that. This triggered a text conversation between hubby and I which we accidentally had on a group text with male church friend (YIKES) who finally joined the conversation with:

I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but I’m praying for you.

Hubby relented to my plea to have some outside help with:

You’ve got a lot on your plate right now, so if it is going to help you- go for it.

It was true. I had a lot on my plate with preparing a workshop, podcasts, writing deadlines, etc… But, here’s the real question- Whose job is it anyway? To clean the house? To manage the house? Whose job is it anyway_Times have changed. It’s not the fifties anymore. Society has changed. One thing that won’t change is stuff has to get done. Houses have to get cleaned ish. Laundry won’t do itself. Meals have to be prepared. So, again, whose job is it anyway?

The truth is – you and your hubby need to have this conversation. If jobs are divided verbally or on paper, it makes it easier to know what your responsibilities are. It’s unrealistic to think that the woman must do everything.

“One way the modern conservative movement has hurt the family is by regarding the man as the head in all decisions, rather than the overall leader of the home and family. Men have been taught they should have control over every decision and aspect of homelife, often requiring their wives to seek their final say on every decision about money and home care. This isn’t true to the Biblical model of servant/servant relationship, or the man as the spiritual and directional head of the home. We don’t see the Proverbs 31 woman seeking permission to buy a field, care for servants, and prepare the house for difficult seasons. The erosion of trust in the ability of Christian women to act like rational, intelligent adults is hurting the family and creating constant stress— men are asked for permission that they decline because they can’t see the need in the same way, and women feel frustrated because the head of the home has essentially forbidden her from caring for the home in a way that benefits everyone.”- Audrey Simmons

Maybe you have never actually had a conversation about who should do what in the household. Here are some questions to ask your hubby to get you started:

1.What jobs do you expect me to do?

 2.What is your definition of a well run, successful home? Is it a perfectly clean home? Happy, well rounded kids?

3.What’s most important to you in how the household looks and runs, and what are you willing to do to help make that possible?

Tomorrow I’ll be continuing the series with some home and work scenarios!

Feigned Feminism

Amerey and Kathleen ask some important questions – what is real feminism? Are women created equal? What is the origin of feminism? It all began in the Garden with a serpent. Join these ladies as they talk through these questions and get a little goofy along the way. (There may or may not be some singing in this episode.)Episode 31 (2)

Untitled design (2)Untitled design (1)

Show Notes:

Why is the word feigned in the series title?

feigned-simulated or pretended; insincere.

I’ll just be up front. I think the modern feminism is pretend. It’s not true feminism. It’s not true equal rights. I’ll get more into that later. Now you have the foundation of the title, let’s move forward.

When and why did feminism begin?

“Now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he [Satan] said to the woman, Can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?”- Genesis 3:1

Eve is hanging out in the garden and here comes satan, not a tiny garter snake, but a huge creature. He went straight for Eve, why?

Several of my sons (and hubby) are history buffs. One in particular loves Civil War history, particularly the battles. War strategy is not my strength, I don’t know how to get out a map and plan out a battle. One thing I have learned is, if you can, target people in the position of power and the whole infrastructure may crumble. Often we hear that satan went after Eve because she was weak. What if he went after her because she was powerful? Think about that for a minute. Let your suppositions reshuffle. It’s okay. I can wait. Ready?

The word subtle in the Hebrew -(עָרוּם) adjective crafty, shrewd, sensible

Satan was crafty, shrewd and according to Bible teacher and theologian, Jim Cavins (author of the Great Adventure Bible Study), intimidating. He went after Eve because she was powerful, not because she was weak. He went after her by using her weakness. Don’t confuse the two. She had the power of influence. As the mother of all living, women bring life wherever they go. They have influence, as proved by Eve convincing Adam to eat the fruit.(More on this topic in a later post). In one moment, Eve used her power to change the world, as they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and instantly lost their preternatural gifts.

The Curse followed.

 And the Lord God said to the serpent, Because you have done this, you are cursed above all [domestic] animals and above every [wild] living thing of the field; upon your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust [and what it contains] all the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her [a]Offspring; He will bruise and tread your head underfoot, and you will lie in wait and bruise His heel.“-Genesis 3:14, 15

True feminism is a battle against the curse. The curse of satan, ever adamant to destroy the true purpose of women. The curse of the battle, which isn’t against flesh and blood humans, but against principalities and world-rulers of this present darkness (Ephesians 6:12) the enmity between the woman and satan.  Satan twisted the Word and bruises and treads on our heads with his non existent feet, that is, he fills women’s minds with falsehoods, telling us that we are a lesser species, that what we do is not valuable, that we must be like men in order to be powerful. The sad truth is many of us have stopped fighting and we believe the lie that we must be the version of feminism fed to us by cultural elitists of today. Women must remember he is like a small dog, nipping at our heels. We must smash his head with the truth. Feminism began in the garden of Eden.

Let me take you a step back, one chapter earlier when Eve was created.

“Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” Genesis 2:18

“In Genesis 2:18 the word “Helpmeet” does not occur. The Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo appears meaning “one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids and supports’. There is no indication of inferiority or of a secondary position in a hierarchical separation of the male and female “spheres” of responsibility, authority or social position.”- Dr. Susan Hyatt, In the Spirit We’re Equal

I hauled out my huge Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance and studied myself (cause that’s me) and it is true. God always intended for men and women to be equal. Satan started the war on the sexes and between them in the garden. It’s been going on ever since, satan nipping at  women’s heels (and that of her offspring) through the culture of civilizations from the beginning to the misguided feminism in our’s today. The more evil the culture the more women are mistreated, misused  and devalued. Women and men are not the same, that’s where feigned feminism gets off track. We are unique and have distinctive gifts, talents and strengths. That’s another post!

To wrap it up? Why feminism?

The purpose of Adam and Eve was to be one holy family. Family is the foundation of God’s world. He has made it so.

“As the source of the family and life itself, the union of the sexes ‘is placed at the center of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and all that is opposed to love.”- Theology of the Body for Beginners

If you want to know what is most valuable, look for what is most fought against, what is being battled most vehemently and violently profaned. There is the crux of true feminism, equality. In the eyes of our heavenly Father, equality already exists. In the eyes of this present darkness, it is muddled, captive by satan’s  so-called philosophy, intellectualism and vain deceit (idle fancies and plain nonsense), following human tradition (men’s ideas of the material rather than the spiritual world) (Colossians 2:8).  Profaning the value women and their power of influence, to tear down the family is the purpose of satan, see the curse, he bears his fangs and bites where our suppositions, ideas, theologies originate. Women’s heads are filled with false doctrine. When our Achilles heel is damaged, we cannot walk in our purpose.

When did feminism begin?

In the Garden of Eden. Both true feminism, equality with men and feigned feminism, the war of the sexes for equality, both began in the first three chapters of the history  of civilization.

“There is [now no distinction] neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”– Galatians 3:28

Feigned Feminism Friday Part Six

Feigned Feminism Friday

Thanks for joining the series Feigned Feminism Friday, if you want to catch up, start here.

What about a women’s right to choose for her own body (concerning health care)?

“Why do we kill approximately 4,000 unborn babies every day in the U.S. alone? Because we are misusing and abusing God’s great gift of sex. Make no mistake, in the final analysis, the abortion debate is not about when life begins. it is about the meaning of sex. What most men and women who fight for abortion want is not so much the “right” to kill their offspring, but the “right” to have unrestricted sex without consequences.”-Theology of the Body for Beginners.

Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, wanted to create a magic pill to stop sexually active women from creating babies. She enlisted the help of Gregory Pincus in 1951 when they met at a dinner party. The problem with magic pills, like magic beans, they have side effects, like giants or cancer, blood clots, early deaths and miscarriages.

Sanger had assisted women who had undergone botched abortions and she didn’t like seeing woman suffer. That I understand. Sanger was born into a large family, eleven children, common for those days. Her mother died fairly young, sources differ on her age forty or fifty. Regardless of her circumstances, her philosophy is what concerns me and should concern anyone who supports Planned Parenthood. Sanger said,

“The most merciful thing that the large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.

Woman and the New Race, ch. 6: “The Wickedness of Creating Large Families.” Here, Sanger argues that, because the conditions of large families tend to involve poverty and illness, it is better for everyone involved if a child’s life is snuffed out before he or she has a chance to pose difficulties to its family.”

I find it odd that Pro abortion writers refer to Women’s health care, i.e. abortion and the birth control pill as a civil right when Margaret Sanger was on a secret war path, ‘’we want to exterminate the Negro population” she said.

 

And we are all supposed to be appalled at the information like this:

“Yet access to safe and effective birth control still isn’t a universal privilege. A report from the Guttmacher Institute in 2012 found that around 222 million women in developing countries want to use birth control but aren’t currently able to access modern contraceptives.

Even in the U.S., there has been a political push to restrict access. The rise of “conscience clauses” has also meant that hospital employees, pharmacists and employers with religious views on birth control can refuse to fill prescriptions or cover employees’ coverage for contraception.”-time.com

Why should I be upset and shocked that not everyone has the ‘privilege”? As if it should be? As if reproductive rights of women sit right alongside the 14th and 15th amendment, (yeah, I saw that comparison in an article). Is our uterus a naturalized citizen? Do our wombs vote? There is no part of the Constitution or an amendment that states that women have the right to an abortion or birth control.

Gone are the days that pro-abortionists reserve abortion rights for those who have been raped or are carrying a child with defects. I don’t agree that either of those constitute a viable reason to end a life. A life that began with a violent act should not be ended with one. It is still a life, but I digress. Those arguments are so last decade. Even though the majority of women aborting their babies were not in those predicaments, they used that reasoning as a shield. Today, the news tells a different story:

“But they leave out a large majority of women seeking abortions, who had sex willingly, made a decision to end the pregnancy and faced no special threatening medical conditions.”-KATHA POLLITT via The New York Times

 

The modern political agenda of a skewed feminism says that every woman deserves to have heath care which includes the right and means for abortion and birth control.  Hormonal contraceptives have an abortive potential. Most (virtually all) literature dealing with hormonal contraception ascribes a three-fold action to these agents.

1. inhibition of ovulation, 2. inhibition of sperm transport, and 3. production of a “hostile endometrium”, which presumably prevents or disrupts implantation of the developing baby if the first two mechanisms fail. The first two mechanisms are true contraception. The third proposed mechanism, IF it in fact occurs, would be abortifacient.”-http://www.aaplog.org/

Death is not health care. The flushing of a fertilized egg (human) is not health care. Of course, the debate most people succumb to is “when does life begin?” There are numerous opinions out there. You can mix and match until you find one you agree with. Ancient Romans and Darwin believed life didn’t begin until a child was able to reproduce. A Roman Father had the authority to kill a child  at any point. If you are a true Darwinian, you may agree with him.

With 3D ultrasounds of babies clapping in the womb while Mom and Dad sing have hopefully overridden the silly science textbook pictures of fetuses looking like oddly shaped fish. We can all argue until we are blue in the face about when life begins, but our opinions do not trump fact. God knits each human in his/her mother’s womb.

For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb. Ps. 139:13

“I have learned from my earliest medical education that human life begins at the time of conception…. I submit that human life is present throughout this entire sequence from conception to adulthood and that any interruption at any point throughout this time constitutes a termination of human life….

I am no more prepared to say that these early stages [of development in the womb] represent an incomplete human being than I would be to say that the child prior to the dramatic effects of puberty…is not a human being. This is human life at every stage.”-

Dr. Alfred M. Bongioanni, professor of pediatrics and obstetrics at the University of Pennsylvania,

What does this debate have to do with a women’s right to health care? Health care should not include ending a life. Heath care gives life. It doesn’t destroy it.
Modern feminism claims women have reproductive rights including a right to abortion. Again, abortions are life taking, that doesn’t line up with healthy or health care. Women are less healthy after taking birth control pills or having an abortion. Don’t look on pro-abortion sites or feminism sites for negative info on the effects of birth control and abortion, you won’t find any. There are studies being conducted, but they aren’t there.Find an honest women who has undergone and abortion and she will tell you the truth. She is damaged physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Her health has been damaged.
“Women who have abortions are 81 percent more likely to experience subsequent mental health problems, according to a new study published by Britian’s Royal College of Psychiatrics. The greatest increases were seen in relation to suicidal behaviors and substance abuse.”- Afterabortion.org
A women’s mental health is at risk after abortion as well as her physical health.
“Two studies of the entire population of women in Demark published in 2012 have shown similar results. The first found that the risk of death following abortion remains higher in each of the ten years following abortion. The second found that the risk of death increases with each abortion, 45% after one abortion, 114% after two abortions, 192% after three or more abortions.”- Afterabortion.org

 

What is women’s health care? Isn’t it staying healthy? Not participating in practices that harm or have giant side effects because of a magic pill. Not killing unborn children. Women should be taken care of. Their health should be a priority because it is women who bring forth life wherever they go.

Women do have choices, yes, but the consequences of those choices don’t go away because modern feminism says so. If you are reading this and you have had an abortion and believe the popular idea of ‘choice’, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for your emotional pain and suffering. Please know you are not alone. There is a God who cares about you and loves you. Please be kind to yourself, find someone you trust to talk to. Don’t bear the burden and pain alone.

Women’s health care should be a priority in the world. True feminism makes it a priority, however health care should bring life, not death.

 

 

Feigned Feminism Friday Part Three

Feigned Feminism Friday

Gloria Steinem, the queen bee of modern feminism, said to Bill Maher of HBO, “Women are more for Clinton than men are, women get more radical as they get older… but men tend to get more conservative as they age because they gain more power and women get more radical because they lose power.”

My head was aching and my emotions on overdrive as I perused sites on feminism looking for facts for this series. You know what I saw over and over? Women who feel as if they have no power. Women who at some point who have been abused/rejected/abandoned and now they are fighting back.

Mission statement (feminist.org)

“The Feminist Majority Foundation (FMF) was created to develop bold, new strategies and programs to advance women’s equality, non-violence, economic development, and, most importantly, empowerment of women and girls in all sectors of society. All programs of the FMF endeavor to include a global perspective and activities to promote leadership development, especially among young women. Along with reproductive rights and access to reproductive technology, the FMF’s programs have focused on the empowerment of women in law, business, medicine, academia, sports, and the Internet.” (underscoring mine)

  • FMF promotes non-violence and works to eliminate violence against women.
  • FMF supports, legal and accessible abortion, contraception, and family planning, including Medicaid funding and access for minors.-www.feminist.org

One of the sad facts I found across the board is the break down of family because of feminism. Our society likes to blame it on the women who have left the home for the workforce and I can’t agree, not totally. There is never a shift in society without a reason and feminism had a lever applied to it by the CIA, for one, and from those who would benefit from the break down of the foundation of society. I’m not going to go on and on about conspiracy theories, that’s not what this is about. This is about we women, right here and now stopping to think about where feminism came from (find more here) and answering some tough questions about it. I’ll post more about the family planning and abortion in another post, just another crack in the foundation of family and devaluing human life.

Today I am focusing on the question:

  1. Why does today’s brand of feminism frown on women staying home to raise a family?

Three Reasons modern feminism frowns on women staying home to raise a family.

Reason One:

If you peruse the back issues of Ms. Magazine, you find articles that are scary:

The Cruelest Weapon-With rape so prevalent in conflict zones, the U.S. must lift the  unwarranted ban on war-related abortions.

That’s not a recipe for your Grandma’s apple pie. This is war. Rape. Murder. Fear.  Most women who enter the modern feminism movement have been hurt, abandoned, rejected, raped, discarded, not valued. Women are saturated, marinated in the idea that women are powerless unless they follow the modern feminist agenda. These women educated themselves, work their fingers to the bone and climb the slippery rungs of the ladder where men seem to have to power. Notice, I said, seem.

These woman may have been raised in a dysfunctional family or schooled in an environment that taught them that power comes by being like a man instead of being like a woman. The modern idea that men and women are alike , that the unique characteristics are ‘stereotypes’ and that we are one creature, instead of two distinct ones, men and women. We function in unique capacities.

Back to fear. Women fear acting in the capacity they were born to because the men they trusted (fathers, husbands, uncles, etc), especially husbands who were commissioned to love them as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, didn’t follow the command. Instead, a man beat them, abused them or didn’t provide for their needs. So, women are afraid to submit (submission is another post) and do what they are designed to do. Nurture. Make a home. Build up their husbands. Respect. Revere. Make a beautiful safe haven.

Instead, they are out in the world fighting the battles that men are supposed to fight for them. They fear losing power and so they pursue it. When men follow their natural inclination, which is to serve and protect women, there is no fear in that sort of love because perfect love casts out all fear. There is no fear of mis-use or abuse when a man takes his place and is respected for it. Fear is powerful. Feeling powerless creates anxiety, so women seek power. When power of choice or the luxury of a safe home is not available then women leave the home and make a way for themselves and/or their children. I don’t want to turn this into a men bashing post, but the truth remains, that if the man does his job, the woman doesn’t have to. As, I said, there is never a shift in society without a reason, the shift of feminism began with rejection, abandonment, abuse, and loss of true power. Women fear staying home because they fear a loss of power.

Have you been believed the lie of modern feminism that you are powerless? Or have you been abused, rejected, abandoned, raped or let down by the man or men who were supposed to care for you? Are you living in fear? This article is not to convince you to ‘stay home where you belong’ or not to have a career. It’s about why women fear walking in their God given gifts. If one of the above has happened to you, I understand. It is difficult to trust when those in authority have let you down. It makes us angry and want to lash out or get the last word or find some power of our own. That is a natural response. We are given the gift of anger to tell us when we have been hurt. We might wonder where God is in all of this and why He has abandoned us. He is here and He hasn’t abandoned you. He doesn’t love men more than women. He sees them as equally valuable. He also sees our rights as equally valuable, He will never take away a person’s right to choose, NEVER, whether for good or evil. He will also never take away the consequences of an action. Vengeance is His. He will make whomever harmed you, pay. He will. It may not be the way you want it to be or in the time frame you want it to be, but He will.

If you don’t believe God believes in consequences, read through the Old Testament. Here’s just one quick example: Remember Joseph and his brothers? They sold him into slavery. God saved their lives through Joseph’s position of power, but He did not remove the consequences. Because the brothers sold Joseph into slavery, the new nation of Israel spent four hundred years enslaved by the Egyptians, the very nation that God gave Joseph a position of power in.

The most important thing for you dear girl, is to value yourself, not to keep going down a dark road of hate and seeking to destroy. That is what satan does.

I’m ending this post with prayer for women.

Dear Jesus, women have been abused, hurt and neglected in our nation. I don’t want to men bash, I want to remember that our war is not against flesh and blood. Satan has been in the business of destroying families since the garden of Eden. I pray that you will heal women who have been hurt, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Please give us the revelation of the power that we have and help us use it according to your will and your way, not the modern philosophies of humanism and the parts of feminism that run contrary to your Word. Help us heal so that our children and families can heal. Help us do the difficult act of forgiveness, for ourselves and families, so you can work in our lives. Whatever we have suffered unjustly, we offer it to you and ask you to make something good out of it. Thank you for good gifts in our lives, help us to see them, despite the pain. Thank you for the power of Jesus’ resurrection working in us to make us strong women, beloved of you. 

Join me next Friday, when we tackle reason two!